February 2024 Blog Number 2 - The 4 parts of me

Here I am finally in front of my laptop to write all about what is my learnings I have been experiencing. To allow myself the time to do this has been a challenge I have been fighting with for over two weeks now. I have been asking myself, ‘Why is this so?’ Finally on Tuesday I got the answer, I will share this with you a little later on.

Allow me to paint the picture of how I have been seeing things. My perception and no one else’s. So, I have been on a spiritual journey since I lost my brother to suicide in 1998. This was an experience that I wished I never had to deal with, and at the time I did the best I could whilst being a wife and a mother of 2 young children.

As I reflect, I have now realised that I wasn’t very present with myself. Where did I spend most of my time? Was it in the past, future or in the present moment? Have you heard the term that when you are living in the past it is called depression and when you are living in the future it is called anxiety. The whole purpose is to live and experience the now, the present moment.

So let me fast forward to March 2019 when I experienced a huge challenge. My marriage of 26 years ended; the rug was totally pulled out from underneath me. This is when I got myself acquainted with the understanding of feeling vulnerable and really getting to know myself, something new for me. I was so used to putting my needs last.

I do wonder if this is what the Universe said, ‘Bitch, I have asked you to get out of your shell many times, but you keep going inside it to hide so I will smash your shell.’ This is what I really felt like, I saw myself as a glob on the floor, having to learn how to be me, the real authentic self in body, mind, spirit, and soul.

As I press the fast forward button again, I bring you to January 2024. Wow! What a roller coaster ride I have been on. I have asked the universe to get me off many many times and just as I go to hop off, the accelerator is engaged fully, and I only have one choice; to hang on for my life.

What did I do? I signed up with Elizabeth Peru daily Tip Off Forecast, this has been very beneficial for me. This gives me many insights on what is happening in the cosmos. Plus, tuning into Melanie Spears who is the author of the Gratitude Journal, which I have been a keen participant in for the last 4 years, these tools have been a key part of getting to know myself even more. It would be remiss of me not to mention Matt Kahn. This last year I haven’t been listening to Matt but Tuesday morning my intuition said that Matt had a message for me so I tracked it down in a Podcast he was a part of on the 22nd of January with Angels and Awakening with Julie Jancius. This was then all brought together in a 5-minute tarot card reading with Kelly from Peace of Eden.

My big learning is that I have never seen my worth. This has been on many levels. All my life I can see the patterns, conditioning, beliefs and suppression in my whole self, and I subconsciously let this happen.

Awareness is the biggest key for growth and healing to occur. Most of my triggers that take place are from the root cause of me not feeling validated or worthy. I am so pleased that now I can give my inner child the love that she has been yearning for.

The affirmation I wrote on my mirror in the bathroom and have put in the Blissful Touch home space treatment room is ‘My needs are always fulfilled because I am worthy to receive, bringing Joy, Peace, Love and Financial Abundance.’ Every time I say this, I can feel my heart swell with love and it is an amazing place to bring me back into my heart and out of my head. This experience helped me really understand a life-changing realisation for me.

When I was in Bali in January 2020 completing my Timeline certification, I learnt something really important about myself. For me to fully comprehend anything I need to see it, read it and experience it before I really truly get it. This was a game changer and I am still putting it into practice. This might mean that I must do things what some people might say is the long way around, but I have learnt to love this part of me and be okay with it.

This brings me to my new learning, for me and it is all about the Mind, Body, Soul and Spirit. I have always known that I spend most of my time in my head/mind and I have a very overthinking mind. My human design is a protector, and I received confirmation that this is one of my challenges. My head always has said ‘yeah, yeah it is all about spending more time in the body, soul and spirit’ and I would try but I would end up back in my head/mind that very second later.

Yippee!!! WooHoo!!! I finally got it. My head/mind is the headmaster/brain (in my case is a bully), the spirit is the home of mind, body and soul, the soul is my heart, where my desires and emotions are, and the body is the physical body, which needs to be nourished and listened to. There are 4 parts of myself, and my analogy for this is a pie chart.

Now I check in on the four parts of me and look for the balance. My mind has been the ruler/taker for many years and now I am aware of this, I am allowing my soul and body to be heard more to receive to feel worthy while keeping my spirit clean. I check in on the Pie Chart of Julie’s 4 parts to see how the balance is going and make the necessary adjustments. This is now my new non-negotiable for my whole self.